13 going on 31...or something like that...

They told me that I would learn a lot at my B-school....today, I think that has come true. Today, one of the greatest mysteries of my life has been revealed; a question that's been playing on my mind for sometime now. And I've had to come all this way to find the answer, and by God! The answer was there in the mirror all this time.

After a long day ( he wipes the sweat from his brow...Phew!!!) , some of us sat down for a cup of coffee and one topic led to another where we ended up trying to guess the age of people and marital status. Now, at my B-school, we've got students of all ages, 23 to I think 35... married folks with kids, just plain married, single people, the works. So it does become a little tough to guess the age and status of people.

When it came to my turn, I categorically stated that as things stand, I have no intentions of taking the plunge until I'm 33 or so. To which one of the girls in the group replied, " Oh, so you've got 2 more years to go..."

WHAAAAAAAAAAT?

And time stood still...like in The Matrix... This was followed by the slow motion explosion scene from Swordfish playing out in my head.

Did she just say 2 more years to go to 33?

That would make me... (gulp)...31 !!!!

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD !!!!


How? Why? When? I'm NOT 31. I just am not. I'm not even close.But apparently, group consensus thinks I am 30 plus at least. I'm not even 25 years old yet. Heck, at heart, I'm still 12 years old. 31??? Seriously? Do I look that old? I agree I have more grey hair for my age and that I'm not exactly looking like Gerard Butler in 300....but come on. 31 ? Is this why all those lovely young ladies keep their distance from me? They all must think, " Oh well...maybe in his younger days..."

I look 31? How in the blooming blue blazers is that even possible? They just took away 5 awesome years of my life. just like that.....even Hiroshima took more time to go down in flames and nuclear stuff.

When I demanded an explanation as to how this insane conclusion was reached, I got a reply saying, " It's the way you think....it's like one of those mature people!"

Yeah! Mature people are obviously above the age of 30!!! Medically proven fact. There is no way someone who thinks maturely is on this side of 25. Well listen here you (fill in appropriate profanity), I think the way I do because I've had the luxury of being brought up by the finest parents and teachers I could get. And I've experienced a lot more of the world than you maybe have. But, how does that make me 31 years old? I mean...how?

As a result of this, I did not enjoy the awesome mango souffle, and my dinner in general. I look 31. This explains so much of some of the questions I've started asking myself lately. And it looks like I'm not going to get much sleep either. Well, at least there's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the tube.

See? Do 31 year old's watch Ninja Turtles? Only the ones with children...holy crap! They must think I'm married and have a kid too....Yikes!!!! ( Am fairly petrified by seeing a toddler version of me running around raising hell !!!)

‘I’ve not studied’ phenomenon

I stood with Giants