We just finished with our first term exams today. Yes, end of one whole term. And I’m already finding myself writing letters to myself assuring me that things are not going to be as bad the next term around. It has come true, the great prophecy – the wedding between Nikhilesh and Exams is bound to end it bitter divorce with exams getting all the alimony.
Anyway, we got back from yet another grueling exam which I spent most of the time just staring at the question paper. Familiar territory. Oh, I had prepared, don’t mistake that. But I was not prepared for ‘that’ exam. If one is ever fortunate to play cricket on the international scene, then imagine a bowler coming at you with the speed of Brett Lee and the spin of Shane Warne ( I think I’ve used this before), that was how every question felt. I always thought marketing is about ingenuity and innovation – apparently not! The questions felt like I was back in school where the smartest were deemed so based on how well they knew the text book. Alas….que sera sera ! Tis but the bane of the Indian education system….school or b-school.
The first 5 minutes was spent staring in absolute shock at the questions put forth. I am sure some of it was ancient Mayan or Latin for I could not comprehend a word. I looked around and it did not make matters better. People were already going great guns at the paper, drawing diagrams and stuff that I didn’t even know existed. I try to find a few familiar lost souls who are in the same plight as yours truly, but to no avail. Looks like I’m the only one who didn’t study for this exam. (again). Composing myself, I started hunting for familiar terms and got cracking; turns out I actually knew a thing or two.
After the first 30 minutes of answering whatever I knew, I tried resorting to black magic and began muttering spells from all known fantasy novels…’Accio Answers’, ‘Alohomora brain’, ‘Specialis Revelio Paper’. I even tried chanting the ‘Sectumsempra ‘ spell in the hopes that I get a gash on my face or something equally dire and am excused from exam. Even the Patronus charm didn’t work. But through it all, the dude who set the paper was counter-cursing everything with ‘Stupefy Nikhilesh’.
All I could picture was Gandalf standing on the bridge and screaming, “You shall not pass!!!”. All that staring and muttering gave me a real bad headache. I left a 2 hour paper in less than an hour. I have hit a new low in my academic career.
PS: I want J.K Rowling to refund my money for all the books I borrowed and read. The spells she gave are no good. They only cause a headache and a lot of odd looks from people sitting next to you.
P.P.S: As a friend had suggested I should have tried praying instead rather than indulge in tom-foolery. What can I say? At times like these, insane men do insane things.