Living on the ground floor of a hostel keeps one very close to nature, especially the insect world. Owing to the fact that our hostel is still under construction and its bang in the middle of nowhere, we do get visits from certain creatures from the dark. On the very second day, we had a scorpion pay us a visit in one of the rooms. The occupant almost ate it up, then his soul was locked in a pyramid for eternity in an oasis in the middle of the desert, protected by pygmy mummies, and would be released after a thousand years by Brandon Fraiser…wait…wait…wait… I’m confused! Oh, sorry ! I had a tiny clip of ‘The Mummy Returns’ running in my head. Por favour !
Back in reality, I think I am slowly but surely getting cured of my fear of bugs. Normally I would react by screaming like a little girl and climbing onto the chair yelling, “ Somebody Kill it!”. But thanks to the hostel, I’ve learnt to swat the tiny critters away with a fluid flick of the wrists and throw them out with a broom. I do understand that if I stood on top of the table and screamed, no one would come to rescue this dude-sel in distress. ( Dude-sel is the male version of damsel). I’ve also learnt (the hard way) that flicking the wrist at every bug is not the best option. It works well on flies, ants, other stuff…but not on Spiders. A lot of people know my extremely heightened weakness of arachnophobia. However, I decided to try the same on a little 8 legged critter who was making his way towards my laptop. Maybe he wanted to use the web…Get it? Spider? Laptop? Web?....Erm…okay! Sensing the silence, I decided to flick the wrist and send the spider flying into the wall at breakneck speeds.
Apparently the spider was smarter and decided to give me some and opened a can of whoop-a** on me by biting my wrist.
Alright! Juvenile me comes into the picture and is all excited hoping that pretty soon I’d have a high fever, then next morning I’d wake up and be all toned-up, no longer requiring glasses, my cat-like reflexes enhanced by super spider reflexes. The next minute I’m in red and blue spandex swinging from building to building. I’d look terrible in spandex…almost as bad as Jack Black when he took on Spider man at the MTV music awards. Anyway, after all the glee of being bit by a spider, I soon realized there was a flaw in my plan. The spider was not a radioactive, genetically enhanced spider!!! ( Yeah right….that’s the problem….ignoramus here gets bit by a spider and he’s depressed that it wasn’t radioactive…whatte geek!!!) Reality kicks in…and I’ve been scratching my wrist all day. Luckily, I took an anti allergic thingy which helped bring down the itching. Nothing serious too…. If it were, I should have been dead a long time ago. Instead here I am, almost 25 and depressed that the damn spider was of no value. Sigh !!!
On a completely unrelated note… I wonder why my dad keeps yelling at me to grow up and get my priorities right.