The ‘Make Out’ Chronicle

I notice this very peculiar thing about most Indians – It is the tendency to leave English sentences incomplete, generally leaving users, especially the ones with twisted minds like mine, either fairly amused or confused. And through all this stands the use of the word ‘make out’.

To most of the world, the word ‘make out’ is generally used when two people either in a loving relationship (or terribly high on tequila) get together, snog and play a game of baseball. ( For those who don’t get the baseball joke…I am referring to first base, second base….so on and so forth). However, the phrase is used very inappropriately by most people. Many of us tend to use the term to signify if we want to know if someone can comprehend ones hand-writing, or if they can comprehend the answer. Normally, the sentence would be, “ Can you make-out what is written on the board?” or “can you make-out what he is trying to say?” We, however, tend to forget the context and plainly say, “Can you make out?” My response, (in my head obviously) “ Yeah, want me to prove it?” by my real response, “ Sigh! Yes! I can make out !” Well, I apologize for the twisted subliminal connotation of the word, but then it is quite hilarious.

This inappropriate use gave me my best (and only) pick-up line which nearly got me punched in the teeth. I remember sometime last term, the prof completed explaining some concept, I am not too sure which class it was, I was generally phased out; anyway, he completed teaching and says, “ Now you all can make out !” I slyly turn to the girl next to me and say, “Shall we?”. Bless my stars, she didn’t hear what I said properly, or else she would have thought I actually meant it and was not being the normal jacka** I normally am and well….let’s say I would have quite a few teeth missing. And this was sometime during the first week of classes. I didn’t even know her name. Who knows, knowing my luck, she would turn out to be a black belt judo champion who was a former Ninja body-guard, but had to give up her post as the recession took its toll.

Even now, I have people walking up to me, women with husbands, grown men with wives, and enquiring if I can make out? Sure I can. Not only am I an expert at it (cough cough cough cough cough….puke!!!) I can also see and understand what is written on the blackboard. 2 for the price of one. Killer Deal !!!

On a mildly related note, when the new library block opened up, a few of us went to check it out and the only response from one of the guys was, “Dude !!!! The first floor has so many awesome places to make out with dames yaar!!!” I sincerely hope he was not talking about ‘understanding hand-writing’.

In case you were wondering what I was doing in a library, I went to check out all the books. Its true…You’ve got to believe me. I am a changed man.