Hear me…

Well you could hear me if I still had my voice. Thanks to my enthusiasm, I have been trying to sing over the new amplifiers we bought for the college, I had lost my voice as of this morning. I try to say something and all that comes out are squeaks and hisses. Almost sounds like Parseltongue. My voice just decided to leave me this morning. She didn’t even leave her phone number, just spent the night and left. I could have at least gotten a cup of coffee for last night. Anyway, the girl who sat next to me in class was quite happy that I had lost my voice, as I normally bug her to death with my incessant talking and muttering. She admitted it by the way.

This time I was really worried because I’ve got a performance coming up in a few days time and am expected to do the back-up vocals. My vocalist has threatened to kill me if I don’t find the voice. There begins my quest. As always, people always have tons of remedies to suggest getting well. The usual salt-water gargling, tea-drinking, honey and hot water…. I think I recollect someone asking me to drink bat-blood as well! Oh wait! Hangover from the really hilarious Bram Stroker’s Dracula. Will comment on that towards the end.

I have been drinking hot water all day and my voice from a hiss turned into a squeak which I believe was sub-sonic. One can always trust friends to treat you well when you are unwell. The rogues made me talk a lot and issued tons of verbal abuse just to get me to retort. Needless to say, I did. Saying ‘F*** you B**ch’ just does not hold the same kick when you’re near zero decibels and sound like a little girl. And I conclude by yelling ‘ I’ll get you scoundrels when my voice is back…you shall see….you have not heard the last of me.’ And this sounded like a very young female version of Sachin Tendulkar.

Through all this, one friend was kind enough to make a really awesome cup of ginger tea. Hoo boy, that did the trick! My voice is back. Not in full form, still the occasional hissing, but at least I don’t sound like a little girl anymore. Waiting till tomorrow morning, then I am issuing a verbal dual to all those guys who made fun. It’s going to be one of those ‘Your Mamma’ joke sessions.

Your mamma is so fat, when she jumped for joy, she struck oil…

Your mamma is so fat, when she stood on the weighing scale, it said ‘one person at a time’

Your mamma is so fat, she died, walked through pearly gates and got stuck….now, no one can enter heaven.

Coming to Dracula, please watch the movie for the intense acting skills of Keanu Reeves. His ‘NO’ has so much emotion, that it drives you to tears…tears of laughter that is. This was where he honed his acting skills for intense scenes in the Matrix where he so emotionally says,’ I know Kung Fu’. Not to forget the hopeless British accents and terrible dialogues. The movie was anything but scary. I was laughing most of the time. And Anthony Hopkins, is a way too uncool Van Helsing. The movie is a mere fart in the face of all vampire movies…even Twilight ( Movie of rich…high society metrosexual vampires…frickin glam boys) was more Vampire-ish than this one. Since we’ve revamped Batman, Iron Man, James Bond…why doesn’t someone work on Dracula too???

There I go….on the stage again!

Murthy in a Mercedes