Always Shoes

I’ve never had enough experience shopping with women to generalize buying tendencies, but after this weekend, I believe that all the rumours are true.

“ Women always like to buy shoes, even if it is not for them”

Allow me to explain. I had to pick up a tiny stuffed toy for my friend’s new-born baby as this was the first time I would be seeing the kid. Now, I wanted to buy the boy a Manchester United Jersey and put him on the right path, just in case he grows up to like some team like….I don’t know …. those Arsenal chaps, but my folks thought otherwise. So I guess a baby Metallica T shirt was out of the question. Anyway, I had met some friends for lunch the same day. Since we all finished pretty early, there was not much to do. I thought it was best that we utilize the time and head to a nearby store and pick up the stuffed toy. Mistake one…needless to say, I am a greenhorn in such matters, I happen to take 3 ladies to shop for one stuffed toy. I have learnt my lesson.

We entered the baby store, me in proper gung-ho style ‘go for the kill’, straight to the stuff toy section. My eyes fall upon this absolutely cute Simba cub toy. Now I must admit, I’m a major fan of the Lion King cartoon…..second favourite Disney toon after Beauty and the Beast. I want to take that toy, but then I forget, I’m outnumbered on the opinion poll 3-1 to a bunch of girls who like the Pluto Dog toy instead. I’m there arguing as to which was better, one of the girls glances over at the baby boots section and goes ‘ Ooooooh, why don’t you buy him shoes?’. My mind is going ‘Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?’ The kid can hardly walk, he’s going to be carried everywhere, why shoes? Apparently, it would look cute. Well so would I in a tutu doing ballet….but you don’t see me gift wrapped for a one month old baby. To make matters worse, they fall in love with these tiny boots in the shape of Donald Duck’s feet and keep pestering me to buy them as the baby would look cute.

Alright, it’s bad enough that primary shoe-buying instinct kicked in, you honestly want me to scar that kid for life by buying him Donald Duck shoes. Puh-lease. He’s one of the dudes now. He has his mother to do embarrassing things to him. I don’t want to encourage her by buying those shoes, no matter how cute you think they are. I just cannot do that to one of the dudes, even if the dude is a one month old baby boy. Despite the trying on their part to get me to buy the tiny shoes, I refused to cave in. Why is it that women always end up choosing shoes? There are so many other things in the world…why shoes? Shoes get dirty, old, worn out…some even smell….then why so much love of shoes? To all those hardcore vegetarian girls, shoes are made from the skin of cows….you would be directly responsible for killing an animal…think of that the next time you buy shoes.

Anyway, being the nice guy that I am (cough….cough) I at least gave the girls some leeway and bought the Pluto dog and not the Simba Cub, which still remains my first choice. But why shoes? Honestly?

What’s your Rashee?

Demon barber of My Street