Demon barber of My Street

This is where I sound completely vain…unlike the other times where I am not! I am back home for a long vacation of 2 weeks. Time to re-charge the batteries for the onslaught expected in the months to come. If I had thought the last 5 weeks showed me everything, I ain’t seen nothing yet. Anyway, my vacation got off to a terrible start thanks to that barber, and I have no apprehension in calling him the next Sweeney Todd in the making.

Over the last few weeks, I had cultivated (interesting term) a beard which was very reminiscent of Tony Stark. For those of you who don’t know…he’s Iron Man. Second coolest hero after the Dark Knight. I woke up one morning and decided that the do was needed as it would help me with the attempted image make-over I desperately require. Who better to model it after than the man himself? Suave, rich, good cars, rich, can get any lady, rich, fancy fighting suit….did I mention rich? Anyway, I have carefully been trimming the beard so as to have something that fell sort of in between Tony Stark and one of the 3 musketeers. Despite the initial pointing and laughing from my “very supportive” classmates, I still kept the goatee. I know deep down in their hearts, the guys feared me…what if I came after them with my super suit? And the girls….none wanted to say it out loud…but they all sighed in awe when I walked past…they thought I was dashing! Don’t lie…you know it!

Anyway, now that the morphine has worn off an the delusions have stopped, back to business. I come into town and go to my regular barber with the hope of getting a haircut, a decent barber is a luxury where I study. I somehow don’t trust a man who keeps a huge shop and all he has are two scissors, a comb and a water sprayer thingy…the aerosol bottle! Anyway, my regular barber was not there. In his place was the grump fellow who posses as a barber. Left with no other choice ( I am not paying 200 bucks to chop a few locks off the side), I reluctantly sat in his chair. Haircut goes well. Hmmm! I am not so frightened any more. Maybe the barber isn’t as bad as I thought he was. So, I let him give me a shave. Mistake! Big mistake! Quoting Britney Spears – Ooops! I did it again!

All I asked for was a trim, and go knows what the moron thought in his head, before I could react, he’s chopped off a significant centimeter off one side of the goatee. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! There goes my Tony Stark look. I storm out with the oddly shaped goatee, paying only for my haircut! Screw the shave! Oh wait! He already did it! I go home, all fuming! Profanities galore in the house! Dad wants to tell me to shut up….but mum the wisest tells him it is better the anger flows out! Especially if he’s armed with a razor blade! Alas, my beard is Afghanistan…..meaning…it’s been messed up by a foreign power so badly, nothing can be done to improve it!

I shave the goatee off, leaving the moustache! This makes me look like the quintessential tamil film hero. Moustache and a ponch. Yikes! Off goes the moustache! There I am! Plain old powerless, boring, clean shaven momma’s boy! I almost felt like Samson when they chopped his hair off. All his super powers gone! Like that! SNAP! Now, I look ordinary!

God Damn that barber! He’s the devil’s left hand man I tell you! Sheer evil in that man! To take a hot, great looking extremely smart Tony Stark like Tam Bram and make him an accountant tam bram, OMG…he did it…one swift flick of the wrist, and my world goes crumbling down! Now, from Iron Man….I have become Bruce Banner with a temper and no Hulk powers! Woe is me! Great start to the holidays! Will be blogging a lot!

See the pics...who's who? See..... you can't make out the difference!