Lucid... laconic …lamebrain!

It’s amazing how some people can be a real donkey (i'm trying to find a suitable replacement for the word a** please use the word donkey) in their life. People whose little ego’s are molly-coddled by unleashing their apparent expertise of the English language on unsuspecting souls. I remember blogging when I was preparing for my CAT paper about all these really weird words which I had to learn; words that no normal present day human would use, unless they wished to be labeled an absolute moron by their peers….oh wait…with that kind of language, I don’t think you would have any peers! But, I have discovered why they included all those out-of-place words for us to learn… is so that I can understand this odd teaching assistant who probably derives some really odd pleasure by sending us e-mails with really big words. No doubt, those words make complete sense, but then why does one have to be a complete smarty pants (was going for the word smart-a**) while sending e-mails?

Here are some examples:

1) The Objective of the Feedbacks , as elucidated to you earlier is to get an intelligent comments and wise suggestions – for ameliorating our Academic Processes and classroom sessions of the concerned Faculty and … also help in attenuating any lacunae wrt your Course Instructors - the next time onwards.

2) It is however not to be misconstrued as a space for showering ‘personal eulogiums’ , ‘encomiums’ - or for expressing ‘personal vendetta’ on your professors / Course Instructor.

After reading this, I felt the only lacunae was the void between this persons ears!

And this is merely the tip of the ice-berg, I do believe these messages could be conveyed in normal English. No doubt, this is English, and at some twisted level I appreciate the use of such language, but then, there is something called ‘being a moron’ which is quite unacceptable. Somehow, whenever I read such e-mails, I picture the person sitting in a French Castle, dressed up in lace and one of those frilly dresses, oodles of make-up and saying ‘Let them eat cake’….even if it is a guy! (Not a pretty picutre)

I’m quite sure, through some channel, the person concerned might be reading this blog, and oh well! Put me on his hit list… but then, a message to all the other lexicon champions! A certain loquacious rambling upon the medium of electronic mail would find you not appreciated for your knowledge of the lexicon, but would deem you a wanton aberration in the cycle of evolution and a large deviation from the accepted standards of mailing etiquette. Hence rendering you a mere human being, who lives with a certain hedonistic approach to belittling others believing they appreciate your lucid yet laconic approach for verbal diarrhea.

See….even I can be an absolute moron. It’s simple…right-click on the word and go to synonyms. Oh wait…you might have the ‘Joey’ effect and end up saying “They're humid, pre-possessing homosapiens with full-sized aortic pumps.”; when what you really wanted to say was “They're warm, nice people with big hearts.” Wait! Maybe that is what it is, the person concerned found this option on MS-Word and tweaked the software to select words from the ‘I must sound like a high society stuck-up moron’ list rather than the ‘I must sound erudite’ list.

That's the cure....

Goodbye Grandpa