Getting there or getting nowhere?

I finally got around to seeing the movie ‘Wall Street’ all over again. The difference from when I saw it the last time and this time was that the blinking was a lot less. I still did not comprehend a lot of what was going on, but I knew the protagonist was up to something fishy. If there is one thing that came out of that infernal Investment analysis class, it’s that I actually understood the jargon and at some level the gravity of insider information in the stock market. Not too bad eh?

I must say, I do have a new found respect for brokers and investment bankers after the movie. But, not enough to make me want to become one. The lifestyle looks way too high flying for me. For the MBA types, Gordan Gecko is the quintessential poster boy. No bullshit, all about the money, and the occasional back-stabbing – Ohhh! I’m sorry that my back hurt your knife! While it all seems glamorous, and I am sure quite a few of my classmates are going to go down that line and make a gazzilion bucks, I need to understand where my limitations are. While ‘greed might be good’, blind greed can be fatal. I am not one of the investment banker types, and don’t think any amount of reading books and comprehending the stock market is going to help me become one. I guess the closest I come to being an investment banker, is the fact that, like in the movie, just as Charlie Sheen’s dad kept bailing him out with a money when ever he needed it, my Dad is more than happy to help, but still wants me to be accountable for every penny. Anyway, I too hope to repay him for all the tiny loans taken over time, except that I need to find an alternate route…not investment banking.

I remember the other day, during one of the guest lectures, the speaker asked us as to how many of us wanted to become consultants. Well, nearly 98% of the class put its hands up. I, as always, formed part of the 2%. Now call me clueless, but then does not one need to be experienced for like a good amount of time before you are in the position of giving advice to someone? But, after a fair bit of reading it turns out that one need to have oodles of experience to become a consultant with a top-notch firm. Once again, my touch with reality seems a little blurred. While I hear consulting has good quick money and tons of travel, I wonder if I am really cut out for all that? The last few days has seen me question my motives of life in general. When I really break it down, I feel that I am absolutely clueless and am nothing more than a mere drifter in this rat race. I know I want to make good clean money, but am a little blank as to how to do it. I do know how I don’t want to do it…investment banking is right up there. The only way I know to get quick money is to rob a bank, but I hear that it’s illegal to take other peoples money. So how do I do it?

Everyone has plans, ideas, and a direction…I’m Jack Sparrow with a broken compass. Confiding my fears with the parental unit, dad’s response is ‘study your subjects…cross the bridge when you come to it’. Mom’s response ‘have faith in God….he will show you the way.’ Neither of these options really solves my problem. I need a direction. I need something to work towards…I’ve got my writing; I’ve got my meager guitar-playing abilities…what else? I reckon I really don’t have too many other talents or ideas that can get me the green and get it quick. From here, looks like I become the ’Working Class Hero’ that John Lennon sang about…and I do not like that. I need a plan, even if it is a bad one. I still need one. Preferably something that does not involve studying…..

Heart has its reason which reason knows nothing of

What’s your Rashee?