Alright, so my motives for seeing the movie were wrong. But then, I’m a dude, and Priyanka Chopra is a sedative of sorts. And Priyanka Chopra in 12 different roles is Christmas morning…. Or so I thought. Friend and I land up at the theater, Gold class seats going for dead cheap on a weekday.
“Dude…Priyanka Chopra…Lazy Boys…..????”
So we indulge ourselves and buy the tickets. Opening sequence, Ms.Chopra showing off all the 12 Zodiacs. Enthusiastic clapping from me when the Gemini zodiac comes around, because , besides us Gemini’s being absolutely cool, there is not one but two Priyanka Chopras on screen. That’s a done deal. Taking a joke out of the accountant’s hand book….two for the price of one…Killer!!!!! But then the movie progresses and it just keeps getting more torturous, but then why are we still hanging around? Oh well, one because the seats are expensive and we wish to soak in every minute of these Lazy Boys. And two, we silently hope that the next avatar would be even hotter. Or in some cases, more tolerable.
Movie rolls on. Friend comments after looking at Harman Baweja’s plight of seeing 12 girls in ten days for marriage, going through the standard questions of ‘What’s your education?’ ‘What are your hobbies?’ ‘Did you have a boyfriend?’ etc , etc. Or so these are the standard questions I hear that have been printed in the ‘Arranged-marriage for dummies’ book, friend comments,” Dude, you realize you will be going through all this jazz a few years from now if nothing in life works out?”.
Alas, I am at a loss for words. Friend knows me too well. But, putting myself in the shoes of the …ahem…protagonist, I do not believe that I can go through the standard-operating-procedure with a straight face and would probably burst out laughing. But it is a scary prospect, me and arranged marriage. Actually, I and marriage would be a scary prospect by itself….leave the adjectives aside. Besides, imagine me going about asking prospective girls,’ What’s your Rashee?’ Imagine this…. No I mean it….such a scenario can only be imagined…humour me…. I meet the girl, turns out to be quite pleasant, well-read, etc,etc…the standard requirements parents put up…..by some chance in hell we really hit it off….I ask, ‘So what’s your Rashee?’ …. Girl says, ‘ I’m a XXXXXXXX (fill in what zodiac you like)’ and I go, “ooooooooooooooh….so close….sorry girl…we can never be together.Why you ask? Well because Linda Goodman says Gemini’s and XXXXXXXX are not compatible’.