Got two more years…

I am sufficiently petrified after 2012 for a number of reasons. Spoiler alert for those who have not seen the movie! First and foremost, India is totally wiped off the planet, so that’s a bummer. Secondly, apparently Indians have no place in the new world. In the ships that are to be arks for the new world, where people and animals are taken on board, there is not a single Indian. Poor Jimmy Mistry, the scientist who discovered that the world was going kaput , himself was not invited to be part of the new world. Instead found himself swimming with the fishes…literally. Come to think of it, with his really bad accent of how Indians speak English…and his even more horrid rendition of Hindi, I guess he would not be the best to represent the sub-continent.

Anyway, not a single Indian on board. We’ve got Americans, Russians, Chinese, French…and the Spanish…what were they ever good for except for football and bull fighting? And the French…except for their wine and Marion Cotillard? But not one Indian…I mean, who is going to run your call centers in the new world? I am sure we were still waiting 24x7 thanks to the client agreement…poor old Manjunath sitting in his dingy office in sub-urban Bangalore waiting to pick up the phone, claim he is George Michaels, all in his accent reminiscent of Abu from the Simpsons. Then….the Tsunami hits…While drowning saying ‘thank you for calling us, we understand your prooooooooo……….” (phone goes dead)

Anyway, 2012 has me really spooked. If it is true, I have only two years to get stuff done. Also, think about this…who is called onto the Ark to form the new world? Brushing aside the bullshit about selecting the best from the gene pool, one notices that only the ones with money seem to be getting on board. I am the poor son of a poor father…where will I come up with a figure like one million euros? Am I a great scientist that they will take me on board ? No. Am I a major public figure that would help contribute towards building the new world? No. Am I an engineer of some sort who can set up bridges, roads and other aspects of the urban jungle in the new world? No. Look at it; I am nobody of importance in the new world. And that’s kind of sad. Makes me feel suicidal thinking where the last 25years went. Another reason why I am shocked we didn’t have a single Indian aboard was the question of repopulating the planet. Come on….we’ve proven ourselves. We have the statistics. We hit the billion mark…get a few of us on board and we’re giving you returns like you didn’t expect. Oh wait! Maybe that’s why they didn’t take us on board! Dammit….we Indians and our repopulating ways!

Jokes apart, if the world is coming to an end, I’ve got 2 years to get my camp in order. List of things I need to do:

1. Learn to fly a plane, ride a ship, a motorbike…and a car. (these are skills that come on handy while running away from earthquakes and falling buildings)
2. Get into prime shape…improves survival.
3. Get myself onto the top minds list…or get really rich or influential.
4. Get a girlfriend (someone to hug and eyes to stare into when the major tsunami hits…took that from the movie…kinda corny…but deem it important)
5. Read books on architecture and civil engineering to help out in the new world.

All said and done, 2012 is great on the special effects, story is so-so at best, corny dialogues and sentiment that is laughable.... but the special effects! Totally worth it!