The Mistaken Profiles

Don’t ask me how we got to talking about this topic, but over lunch, 3 of us friends were talking about the sort of profiles at sperm banks. For starters, who actually mentions the entire truth on their profiles. Take for example, a guy looking to make some money, while in grad school, so that he can use it to buy weed or booze would not write – “Poor student, with addiction to weed who thought why not make some money by getting to read some dirty magazines or watch certain questionable material”. Wouldn’t they normally write something like – “Smart graduate, top of class, willing to contribute towards the betterment of mankind and self improvement”.

Wait! I just think I hit on a business plan – SPERM BANK PROFILE WRITER.

Taking my meager skills, I can present what would be versions of the truth for people looking to make some money out of what I would call…ahem….vigorous exhaustive work. I could make a pauper sound like a prince. Anyway, after that brainwave of an idea, back to the matter at hand…no pun intended.

What if some poor woman decides to go for it based on a profile which says something like ‘height 6 ft. 5 inches, successful lawyer from Harvard, Blond hair, first generation Greek immigrant, interested in sports and opera’. And then 9 months later the kid turns out to be a short dark, Indian kid, with a bright future in the ‘outsourcing’ domain and the only sport he plays is ‘online cricket’. Now, can someone really return the goods…or do you go back saying that you’re not happy with the product? Now these people are definitely not from the poorer brackets of the world where they would choose to abandon the child. It’s probably a whole new ballgame if you married a guy based on the above criteria and the kid turns out otherwise….suddenly remembering the joke from ‘The Big Bang Theory’ where Leonard thinks the possible kids that he and Penny would have his brains and her looks. But in all seriousness, how does one settle the matter if they get messed up in this deal? What if some bored nurse in the night shift decides to swap samples, just for kicks?

First lessons from ‘Dork’

The Convocation…