I was at UB city this evening, despite a horrid neck sprain that does not allow me to turn my head to the right. Why this dedication? Well, a good friend was leaving for foreign shores for the all important ticket to owning a blackberry and all those shiny little upper management things, called the Yem-Bee-Yay. This was a sort of going away party, and it was at UB city…do you know what that means? Dude! UB City…awesome up-market high society babes who think I am invisible….awesome! Let the gawking and drooling begin!
The shallowness aside, dinner was pretty good. But that’s not the high point of the evening. While waiting for some more folks to join us, I was enthralling the audience at the table with my drivel of an opinion about something like ‘couples who perpetually give one another running commentary about what they are doing over the phone (PS: Wanted to blog about this…but feel it may drive away any potential female stalkers from this blog )’ when we were interrupted by this skinny dude who asks,” Excuse me Sir…but can you please join my friend and I for birthday celebration. We have a cake” Ignoring the fact that he made fun of my age by calling me sir, and excusing him because he said there was cake, I (we) obliged.
So we move to this table to see this youngling of a girl sitting there looking very amused. This dude then tells us that they are both engineering students and they wanted some people to help cut the cake on her birthday. Suddenly panic overcomes me. What if this is one of those MTV bakra type shows? Even worse, what if it is a local channel and all the auto drivers tune in to see me drool over cake? Or some cheap survey to prove ‘Fat people will fall for anything if it involves food’. I look around for cameras or a Cyrus Broacha in the corner somewhere. The cake appears. Birthday girl is told to make a wish before she blows out the candle…to which she clasps her hands and says a little prayer ( I was almost going to ask her which verse of the Bhagvad Gita she was reciting, but refrained as there was free cake being given) Girl cuts the cake, lovingly feeds it to her ‘boyfriend’ and cuts the rest of the cake up for us.
One thing I’ve noticed is the difference in the way guys and gals cut cake. Girls always cut it in small symmetric pieces, ideal for pulling out into a plate while guys always cut these large unshapely chunks which are meant to be grabbed in the messiest manner possible.
Anyway, no bakra, nothing. I am still unsure as to why we were invited for that small cake cutting thing. Normally I fret and down a couple of vodkas if ever invited to any of these ‘couple’ type things. Don’t ask….therapist is trying to figure that one out. But this time I must say I felt sort of nice, and that’s not only because of the free cake. I sort of felt like one of those people who help these young couples elope type. At the end of it they were kids, and I am sure the poor boy had a tough few weeks saving up to take this girl out to this fancy dinner and buy her like a ton of gifts.(PS: This is not because of the sentimental bit or anything…..I saw many shopping bags, so ran some random accounting in my head and believe he paid a bomb…let’s hope this one sticks, or else the dude made one really bad investment) So sort of felt happy to be a part of it, and that’s the part that still confuses me – when one takes a girl out, on her birthday, to the fancy UB city locale, why did you invite some folks like me just to cut the cake, sing happy birthday in my Frank Sinatra(Ahem) like voice, and that’s about it? Very puzzling….but then a lot of things about ‘couples’ puzzle me. The inquisitor in me seems to be stronger than the foodie whose being all “Dude!!!! Free cake da….you got to have it and eat it too! Let it be”!
Anyway, thank you crazy young engineering couple for giving us free cake and a happy birthday to you girl! Dude, I will pray for you sincerely!