Signs (not directed by M.N.Shyamalan)

It seems almost everyone I know is getting married, or engaged, or looking to get married. Apparently we’re all of marriageable age, or so they tell me. It’s almost crazy as to the amount of money I’m spending attending weddings and all my leaves saved up from work are utilized on traveling to weddings. I’ve got quite a few friends, colleagues who say that me attending weddings is a clear sign that I am going to be married soon. After the initial laughter and rolling on the floor, from my side, dies down, I share a great lesson from childhood with them….

Me: “ Mum, but all the boys are doing it this way….”
Mom: “ If everyone jumps in the well, will you also jump in the well?”

The above lesson has never made more sense to me than now. It’s amazing as to how these silly childhood lessons learnt come in handy now. Like the following which is a foolproof method to ensure you don’t have to share food with anyone – ever had to share your ice cream with people with whom you don’t want to share? I don’t mean the people…but the fact that you have to share, and you’ve had to grin and bear and share (that rhymed….awesome!). What would you do if you were 6 years old (or 26 in my case)??? Simple lick the ice cream and offer it to anyone….and since cooties was the big disease back then, rest assured no one wanted your ice cream any more. PS: This worked even during my MBA.

Earth to tangent, please return to initial trajectory….. anyway, back to the whole wedding bit, it’s not like I am against the whole institution of marriage or anything of the sort, but I find it ridiculous that yours truly is at this point in time qualified to be married. I’ve just about started making some money, buying fancy stuff, getting my bearings in life right, and the car….you read about the car right? Muhahaha….so how is it that all of a sudden I am eligible to be married based on the fact that I am attending a wedding every fortnight?

I’ve not even met ‘the one’, so how is me attending other people’s weddings make me eligible to be married? By that logic, now that I own a car, it’s a sign that Ferrari would be calling me up to replace Massa as primary driver for next season….and the fact that I play guitar means Joe Satriani would be inviting me to be part of the next avatar of G3….and the fact that we won the intra-corporate football tournament, with me as goal-keeper is a sign that I will be taking on the same responsibilities at Manchester United after Edwin Van Der Sar retires.

Dear friends, all it means is that I am going to be putting on a lot of weight by the end of this wedding season and am going to have to go to VLCC to ensure my clothes still fit. Attending weddings and hence being eligible for marriage is almost as stupid as how merely attending classes at an engineering college would make you an actual engineer. (You knew that was coming!!!)