Happy New Year folks…. So how was it? Who did what? Who did whom? Any crazy stories? Anyone propose to anyone on the Eiffel tower? Anyway, let me make those of you who stayed home jealous by saying – I went to a farmhouse party. Yaaaay! No, not a rave party. Farmhouse parties are NOT rave parties and they do not end in an orgy.( Looking at a certain someone who thought that they do….what are you, 15 years old and just discovered porn on the internet?) Anyway, the DJ was so-so, kept interspersing every song with Shiela ki God-damn jawani…. I hate this song now. Munni rules! Period! Since the music was not exactly to my liking (meaning, I could not head bang) I decided to place myself at an optimal distance between the bar and the kitchen. This way, I got first crack at all the kababs that came out hot from the Tandoor. Now who says I don’t put my MBA to good use? Darling….this is ‘positioning’. Besides the killer-kababs, I managed to finish an entire bottle of Old Monk rum…. Sigh! It was a nice new year.
At work the next day, the typical thing was to ask people what they did to usher in the New Year. I told one colleague of mine….not even colleague….more like a random acquaintance I was forced to know thanks to a colleague (office people read this blog….don’t want to get into specifics). So, when I told them that I had gone for a new year party to a farmhouse, their reply was, “ Fully boozedaaaaa?????” For the uninitiated, whenever a south-indian suffixes ‘aaaa’ to a sentence, it means they are asking you a question. Like ‘ ateaaaaaaa?’ (Did you eat?) or ‘lateaaaaaaa?’ (Are you late)….get the picture? Back to the point, the tone of the question is one that I have received many times before….a tone which has the subliminal message of’ You’re pathetic, you drink….am sure you’re going to be a wife-beater’.
For those unfamiliar with the world of fine-spirits, their only reference to alcohol-drinking is in terrible Indian movies and television where people either talk a lot of rot, see 3 of everything, or tend to get violent which is followed by killing someone in a drunken rage. To you wimps, I say, there is a world of difference between ‘drinking’ and getting ‘drunk’. When I go out drinking, I know how much is too much. I do not say silly things ( although I do tend to sing a lot) and do not call up ex-girlfriends…ok….hypothetical ex girl-friends and profess my undying love to them. I also am blessed with good capacity….so two beers is nothing. I know many to whom drinking means getting drunk and pondering over why they are still single….to them, I say, ‘ Really????? You’re wondering why? Try being sober and not competing with the champ for starters’. I don’t understand why you assume that someone drinking as tantamount to openly worshipping the devil. There is nothing wrong with drinking. To conclude, I’d like to quote Frank Sinatra, “I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.”
And the word is ‘Drinking’. ‘Boozing’ means ‘To drink alcoholic beverages excessively or chronically’ and I have done neither. Besides having misconstrued notions on the concept of enjoying a fine spirit, I recommend some classes on the English language as well.