Corporate Phone-ies

These Blackberry /Smart phone types….very annoying lot….especially at meetings. It is common courtesy (a concept not taught to very many Indians) to put your phone in silent mode at meetings. If you can’t do that, then one would at least expect you to cut the call, because quite frankly, I don’t care much for your ‘Rihanna-Umbrella’ ring tone. But instead, you decide to stare at the phone screen and wonder whether or not to pick up the call , while Rihanna goes” ella….ellaaa….aaeeeyyyy…..aeeeyyy….ellaaaa….ella”. Now that you have decided that you must pick up the phone and inform the other person that you can’t speak for too long, why do you suddenly put your head between your legs and in a very audible excuse for a whisper say, ”I’m in a meeting, I’ll call you back.” Do you get better reception down there?

And why do you have to take work calls while among a group of people. You can always step to the side and take the call…It’s called a “mobile” phone for a reason. We really don’t want to hear you telling some bloke to “ sell short because the cement stocks in the rival company are bullish” or “merge the database after which you can run the xml script which should allow you to filter through the command prompt”(or something like that). If you really want to sit among a bunch of people and take business calls, I will come to the conclusion that your work is actually pretty boring and lame and my job is absolutely killer (which it is….must say these things….office people reading the blog) and you want it, and you are fulfilling some silly inferiority complex by trying to seem important to your office.

Now to you techie mobile users…. I know that technology is a wonderful thing and that today’s phones can do a billion things including accessing laptops, datacenters, running command prompts for hacking and all that stuff I see on Swordfish and Star Trek. If you have the time to sit and try out all the apps on the various stores available does not mean others have the same time or interest to use them. So if you’re going to act all cocky about some app that you use on your phone that allows you to determine pheromone levels in Rhesus Macaques that are in heat, please don’t insist that I’m a lesser human being for not having that app on my phone. I obviously am getting on with life quite well without these apps. I have all the apps I need, thank you very much, I was not born yesterday. Telling me about an app is one thing, but acting as though I would lose one kidney without the app is another thing. And no…. I do not access office email on my phone. If I am busy fiddling with it, it’s because I’m probably tweeting, “Jackass told me about random app that I don’t want to use. Some people will never make it in sales. How to kill a Jackass with his own phone?

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