It’s only words…

Nope, not writing about The BeeGees or Boyzone. This is yet another blog on the wonderful phenomenon known as ‘Indian English’. Ok, back to the basics…listen please.

1. Your’ and ‘You’re’ - “ You’re a moron and your English teacher is one too.” Got the difference? No? Shall I repeat?

2. Repeat again” – You can repeat it once….but it’s up to you if you want to say it again. But saying it twice does not make me understand you better. YOU’RE still a moron.

3. Understanding” - ‘ I am not understanding you!’… I hope not. I’m quite an understanding person, but if you don’t understand that….YOU’RE a moron!

4. Revert Back” – So like ‘repeat again’, you’re going to do it twice…. You can reply via email through YOUR laptop…but you can neither revert me…nor revert back to me. Revert means ‘to go back to a previous state’, like the moron that you were.

5. Going to go” – ‘ I am going to go home’….so I guess tomorrow, you’ll be coming to come? No?

6. Can’t able to” - ‘I am can’t able to understand you’…..I give up on this one.

7. ‘Too’, ‘to’ and ‘two’ – English is tough, but with a little bit of effort, we can get it right. But ‘ We are going for a movie. You are coming two?’ is an insulting fat joke.

PS: My apologies if you feel this is directed at you or you think i'm a prat. The blog comes after a long painful day. This post is dedicated to those who have an education but have really learnt nothing. And if you say English is not the national language and that you don't need to know it.... I've heard you speak Hindi too. And even that sucks. It's a question of 'clear communication skills'. No hate mail please.