Working for a Big4 firm...

 Note: I got this forward from a friend with only the main points in place. Being an MBA (now go oooooooooh.....aaaaaaaahh) I had to respond to these allegations that make big corporate firms seem like Mount Doom when actually they are like the Shire with everyone having a really good time. Hence, my response to the points in-line. Also note, the following comments are a work of fiction and bear no relation to companies existing (especially the organization I work for). We love you corporate buggers!

You know you work for a Big4 Firm when.. ;-)
(Note: Big4 fanatics and people without sense of humour need not read any further)

1.        You are referred to as a ‘resource’.

I am referred to the one that quit to do his MBA and still came back here…. Or in other words ‘victim of the recession’.

2.        You thank the heavens for an early pack-up for the day at 9 pm.

You mean I am allowed to leave before 9 PM???? And not apply for half a day’s leave?

3.        Late sitting means 3-4 A.M.

Yes, but that’s only with my guitar or the PS3

4.        You earn well but can’t find the time to visit an ATM.

Kindly explain this “earn well” concept to me.

5.        You gain weight and lose hair in an equal proportion.

Erm….always been on the gaining side of weight.

6.        You’ve been ditched by your GF cuz you kept missing your dates on a consistent basis.

Ditched by my what?

7.        Weekends are great pleasure. Atleast you can wear casuals to work u see!

I work from home on the weekends.

8.        You start classifying personal problems as below or above the de-minimus threshold.

The only problems one has is that ‘One is not doing enough to improve share-holder value’. The other problems are inconsequential.

9.        Most of your festivals are celebrated with your colleagues at work.

Phew. Dodged that bullet!

10.        You get clueless upon being asked, ‘What time you shall leave today from work?’

I get clueless upon asked anything related to work.

11.        You have to fight with your seniors for allowing an off on an official holiday.

Guess who is taking the day off tomorrow come what may?

12.        The first thing you consider while planning your marriage date is whether you’d get an off around that time for your marriage or not!

Am still in the ‘Can I afford to think of the concept of marriage?’ phase. Will cross this bridge when I come to it. Kindly refer to point 6.

13.        You start assessing ‘inherent’ & ‘control’ risk associated with your potential girlfriend.

Again…potential who???? Point 6 people....please read!

14.        Your laptop replaces your wife as your ‘Constant lifelong companion’

My ipod has already done that hypothetically assuming point 12 ever happens.

15.        You get to hear this dialog atleast once a day from someone but nothing happens, ‘Had hai yaar.. Bahot ho gaya.. Main papers daal raha hoon’ (Enough is enough.. I’m resigning)

Oh no. No way! We all love the company! God promise! (fingers crossed behind back)