Before I proceed with ranting about random issues….erm…I mean problems in my life, just requesting all my readers and followers to find time in their daily prayers for the quick recovery of a dear friend who met with an accident last week. Hope to see him back on his feet (literally) in the next few months.
Now back to me, a week prior to my birthday I had a panic attack of sorts. The panic attack was caused by the sudden realization that I might actually die alone. Hear me out…hear me out… I know we all die alone, but I meant ‘die alone’ in a ‘die ALONE’ sort of way. This epiphany dawned during a conversation I was having with some people on Facebook after a friend posted the full trailer to ‘The Amazing Spiderman’ movie. The conversation went somewhat like this:
Friend: Oh hell yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! This is going to be one hell of a movie!
NM: Nice.... "Meri" Jane Watson.... I call dibbs!
Friend: That isn’t Mary Jane ;) she's Gwen Stacy ♥
NM: Whoa! Thanks for letting me know.... that's odd! Spiderman without MJW is like Batman without Alfred... even in the comics, Gwen had a 'first love' role before MJW....kind of like what Lana Lang had in the Superman series before Lois was introduced....anyway, I still call Dibbs! Emma Stone... I ♥
Friend: You can say like Batman’s first love was Rachel and then comes Saline Kyle ♥ :-)
NM: Batman has too many love interests...there's Vicky Vale, Talia Al ghul (with whom he has a son - Damian Wayne...who is one of the many Robins)....and Julie Madison (considered to be Wayne's first love interest....played by the lovely Elle Macpherson in the very painful movie "Batman and Robin”)
It was at this point it dawned on me that I am so far down the geek-rabbit-hole that I don’t see any point of return. I retraced my steps and realized that I know way too much about comic book heroes and I always get so excited and animated when I talk about them that I more or less zone out. And this demon has cropped up one too many times into conversations with the opposite sex. No wonder I’m never taken seriously. I know more about Bruce Wayne’s love interests than my own. (PS: Subtle hint that FB status is ‘single’ *wink wink*)
Which woman would want to be with a guy who would admonish her for confusing the ‘Tesseract’ (from the Avengers) with the ‘All-spark’ (from the Transformers)? I can’t even visualize how berserk I would go if a girl I took to see a super-hero movie said something like,” Why can’t Hulk and Superman fight evil together? It would be cool no?” My hypothetical reply,” Sure…why don’t we try and disprove Heisenberg by saying where the electron around the atom is, and at what speed it is going at, AT THE SAME TIME? “
I am going to surely die alone. The only two ways out of this problem are that either we find a dame who is equally enthusiastic (retarded) about such geeky stuff as I, so that we can have long romantic conversations into the night about ‘who is more annoying in the Star Wars Universe - Jar Jar Binks or General Grievous?’ or a rainy Sunday afternoon, sipping hot chocolate, looking into each others eyes, discussing ‘Which Robin is better - Dick Grayson or Tim Drake?’ (We all know that Robin is weak even otherwise, and that the girl even wanting to discuss this forms grounds for breaking up…. just saying).
The other way out of this problem is to find me a ‘Penny’. (Anyone else just thought the title of this blog should be ‘Penny for your thoughts’?) I have discussed this option with some friends and we all agree that we need to find a Penny like girl, move her into the apartment opposite to mine, ensure her shower does not work, and then see sparks fly. Now, I know most of you would think I am being shallow and the only reason I am saying Penny is because she is….in the words of men….. Smoking like a Tandoori chicken! (Ok, the tandoori chicken bit was just me) But no…what do you think I am?
Sheesh….inner beauty people, inner beauty. Penny is able to love and tolerate a comic, sci-fi, gaming loving fellow like Leonard and even quote Yoda after ‘you-know-what’. Have any of you had anyone quote Yoda after ‘you-know-what’? And she knows the difference between ‘Star Trek’ and ‘Star Wars’. Behind all the temper, and golden locks, she’s a nice person and really cares about her friends…although that might some times come off as insensitive. I should probably stop here because I just started drooling on my keyboard. Quoting what is written on Wikipedia - has great social skills and is very knowledgeable about pop culture….She is also messy and disorganized, but appears to like it that way….While usually very kind, Penny has a bad temper which has erupted on many occasions…Sheldon compares outbursts to The Hulk.. Chinese character tattooed on her right buttock…..claimed to be vegetarian, with the exception of fish and the "occasional steak...I love steak!"….. Surprisingly good the first time she played Halo 3…. quoted, "Do, or do not. There is no try" while in bed with Leonard, and even mentioned she knew it was from The Empire Strikes Back…..
So that’s my theory, we need to find me a Penny. None of the women I know or have met in my limited life time will tolerate such nonsensical dedication to comic books. Also note, there is the demon of music that can go into debates about ‘Was Pink Floyd better after Syd Barrett or not?’ or ‘Was Dave Mustaine’s exit from Metallica instrumental in making Metallica what they are? Or would they have just ended up sounding like Megadeth?’ Keeping all these demons in mind, I fear for the parental unit who some time next year will be taking their dear son to the ‘marriage market’ with the slim hope that some woman out there would accept their whack job of an offspring.
PS: To the one friend who told me that I have a year’s time to change, I say, “Dei….if I change who I am, then what is left of me? Next she’ll be asking me to give up non veg also….not happening boss. Music, non-veg, OH-molecules, comics, Manchester United and Star Wars stay…period”
Until we figure out a permanent solution to this problem, check out this video of Batman (yes...ironic) on his night out.