I recently got to see this photo (above) and thought to myself, “This is my life!”
For the uninitiated, the photo is from “Rock On!!”, which a lot of people consider to be India’s first rock movie. While that remains to be a very debatable statement, it still remains a great movie to be seen. Debatable due to many reasons; it’s not an accurate description of what a rock band in this regressing nation have to go through; there seems to be heavy bass in the some songs without a bassist in the band,etc,etc. But this still makes for a fine movie simply because it showcases what people go through, not necessarily as rock stars. It talks about friends, breaking up, the decisions one makes in life and the sacrifices one makes too. (Will not use the word ‘compromise’ for fear of Prachi Desai walking out on me) .
I am talking about the last point. Lately it seems I don’t recognize the reflection in the mirror. And this picture is exactly what runs through my mind.While on the inside I see a guy who doesn’t really care, wants to play his guitar all day, write songs and stuff, play his computer games making money writing or traveling, doing something fun while living. But unfortunately the reflection is of someone I’ve really come to hate. When did we go from being happy-go-lucky to serious about MBA? When did the clean shaven guy replace the goatee? When did my papers of bad songs that had no meaning get replaced by sheets of practice questions and notes? It seems the decision I took to keep away from music and trade in my passion for an expensive suit isn’t helping. Mind you, I was never the quintessential rock star, in a big band, all the hairdo, the girls screaming your name, getting high on smoke and alcohol, the big fancy car…I had nothing! (Am a disgrace to the word ‘rock star’) I did have one thing in common, I loved (and still love) wearing tons of black clothing. Oh! And I got a tattoo too. A real permanent one! ( Who’s the man now????) But I loved the music and everything about it.
Anyway, in all my ambitions, I never pictured myself where I am right now. Nikhilesh Murthy, Electronics engineer working for a corporate company in their marketing communications department, for paltry pay (my HR dept. and boss would disagree….I say, you can never make enough money) not playing the guitar any shows, weekends invested in preparing for entrance exams, driving an auto-geared scooter, still living with my folks and still not scoring. (The last point hurts!) I did join a band for over a year after college but left it to become a suit. Actually, left it to prepare for exams in the hope of becoming a suit.( Definition: A suit is someone in the corporate world who’s entire life is spent making money and wearing fancy suits, the whole board room, hostile take over , golf jazz). And now when I look in the mirror, the image above is exactly what I see. I hope that I don’t regret the choice I’ve made. The only way I’d probably be able to live with the man I see in the mirror is if I do become a suit. It’s the worst form of sacrifice .Passion for pay.
But like ‘Rock On!!’ maybe, after 10 years of making money as an investment banker ( whatever) I can get back to music. Man lives on hope when he has nothing to live for.
PS: It wouldn’t hurt having a girl as good looking as Prachi Desai, who gives you sexy Les Paul guitars, either!
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