Darn Pictures and Darn Psycho-analysis....

I was hunting through my old certificates and other stuff last night when I came upon some of my old photographs from school (stored away for good reason), some old slam books and admit cards from exams taken in some other life. I think I took the whole ‘laughing at myself’ bit a little too seriously. I was in splits till late at night.

I can’t believe how I looked back then. Not like there is any improvement now. Imagine, I had moustache, which was fit for any south Indian hero. Well-oiled hair. (I do mean well oiled) and a large pair of glasses that covered nearly 3/4th of my face, enhancing my D&G image. ( Not Dolce’n’Gabbana….Dork ‘n’ Geek image). It was amazing I had any friends looking like that. I’m sure they all looked equally bad back then. I saw some pics of the guys, we all look so meek; can’t imagine that we be the rogues we are today. Saw some pics of girls in my class who had their hair all neatly tied up and most of them are major mod now…tied up hair all straightened out…etc.
I am a perfect example of why you never let mothers select clothes for you. (That explains the number of Hawaiian shirts I had with all those floral prints) I can’t even imagine wearing those clothes today. I also discovered the reason why I never keep a moustache anymore. Somewhere my soul took a look in the mirror and went Ugghh!!!

I even found slam books from class ten and twelve, where all my friends and classmates had written messages and had given me a lot of advice; some of which is hilarious, but meant so much back then. There was one instance of a guy writing, ‘Break the silver ship, break the golden ship….but don’t break my friendship’. I read one entry where one girl even told me that she thought I was terribly shy when it came to women and thought I ought to show more backbone.

I found a bag which had some reports with my name on it. They weren’t report cards. I know, because I get a violent allergic reaction when I’m near a report card. This was a report from a camp which my folks had sent me to during class 7. It was a camp aimed at personality development, leadership skills, teamwork…the usual jazz. It was an outbound camp spread over 4 camps, one each quarter. (That’s the corporate sell-out in me speaking…one each quarter it seems!!!) Anyway, this was a detailed analysis on me. I feel so violated that I was being psycho analyzed without my consent.

Anyway, even they say there is nothing mentally wrong with me. (Dammit, I was looking to plead insanity in court) I am apparently a bright, energetic, cheerful over enthusiastic child; emotionally mature for his age (I want to cry now); eager to learn new things and experience everything. I do not hesitate to try something new. Always seems to find the lighter side of things, even in the most serious situation (Why so serious?????) Initiates command and execution. Well, basically to stuff to say there is nothing wrong with me.

“However, Nikhilesh tends to be a bit of a bully. Even though his ideas are sometimes better than the rest of the group, he tends to over power everyone and impose himself onto others. This seems to happen unknowingly. He needs to learn to have faith in others in his team. He has not learnt to take failure in his stride. He sets too high standards for himself and his team; and gets very disheartened when he can’t achieve it and can be rude to others if they don’t meet his expectations. (That’s a whole bunch of words…I do not understand). He also needs to be more focused on tasks. He tends to be withdrawn if the task does not interest him, or he does not see the point of it all and gets bored if he finds it easy or has discovered the solution to the problem. He refuses to accept facts as they are and questions everything. ( This is where my dad got the brilliant notion in his brain that told him to bully me into engineering…..I still wake up in the middle of the night and cry). While this is good, because he sometimes comes up with better solutions to problems, it can sometimes hamper execution of the task. He needs to be aware of time and gets carried away when he’s enjoying himself. Otherwise, nothing negative about the boy.”

Who knew, in 12 years, I have not evolved one bit. I still refuse to do stuff if I don’t enjoy. I still question everything, get bored fast, and still get carried away with everything. Amazing. All this time and no improvement what so ever. Seems, I am what I am. (Not Popeye the sailor man). I still cant manage time when it comes to exams.

It was perhaps one of the most fun evenings I had. Got some good laughs out of looking at my old pictures, got to read what people had to say about me, and discovered I’ve been psycho-analyzed; all in one night.