This weekend I began with helping out at Parikrma as a volunteer. Initially, my work with them was limited to what I did through the office, but now, since my weekends are more or less free, I’ve decided to help out a little more. I was told by a coordinator that I would be teaching the senior classes. So I prepared the previous night to conduct a workshop on creative writing. I was totally excited, because this is the first time I would be imparting knowledge to another human being. ‘Nikhilesh the Imparter ‘…..nice title that sends chills down one’s spines. I guess it depends on what knowledge I am imparting. But it turns out; the senior class was being given to some Goras (notice the disdain in my voice) GORAS! Apparently they had some degree and foreign exposure in similar organizations or something like that! Again! Once again stupid qualification on paper beats me!!! What happened to good old appreciation for enthusiasm??? Like in the old hindi movies, “ladka zaada padaa likhaa nahin , par bahut hoshiyaar aur imandaar hain…chalo isko hum kaam par rak lete hain!!!” Now it’s all your fancy certifications and overly-priced qualifications. (Grapes are sour eh????)
I was left with the kids from class 5. And if they were anything like me in class 5, well, I was in for a fairly sanguine affair. Plan A was already scrapped and put in the dustbin. Plan B….made the kiddies play the creative story telling game. I provide the start to a story and at random, they keep adding bits and pieces. The story began with - a boy walking down a dark lonely road..all of a sudden it starts raining….he’s walking past a graveyard and hears dogs howling….. the kids had to continue from here. The story that turned out made me realize that children these days are watching too much filth in cinema and television these days. We ended up with a story line to put the best script writers in the local film industry to shame. I can see it now… audiences sobbing at the tragedy, going ‘awwwwww’ at the romance, cheering at the fight scenes…and me barfing in the aisles! This was how the story turned out (putting essential parts of the plot, don’t focus on the spelling and grammar):
A boy walking down a dark lonely road…all of a sudden it starts raining….he’s walking past a graveyard and hears dogs howling…then a girl comes walking with a red umbrella…the boy asks her to drop him home…she drops him home…just as she is leaving…the boy falls in love with the girl…she also falls in love with him….she is so much in love she leaves the umbrella at his house….she goes home walking in the rain..(song and dance sequence…girl suddenly in the Alps wearing a chiffon saree)…next day boy is coming on the motorcycle…he has bunked college to play cricket…girl is leaving her medical college…they happen to meet at the zebra crossing…girl does not notice guy….guy then falls in love ( song and dance sequence….boy playing electric guitar on top of train with semi clad firangs dancing in the background) ….traffic is held up because boy is day dreaming…. Next day…boy meets girl on local bus….boy happened to be carrying umbrella…he gives it to the girl who is acting all coy now….boy says he has fallen in love with girl…girl says she too has fallen in love with boy… (another song and dance sequence….this time in Rajasthan). They court (audience goes awwwwwwwww)…turns out girls elder brother is a local goonda who dotes his sister…. He murders a lot of people… hero’s bike hits goonda’s white Scorpio….goonda gets angry…after a riveting action sequence…boy manages to flee scene as he realizes there is a threat against his life…he tells girl he wants to marry her….they elope….go to Ooty….build a log cabin…goonda finds boy through his contacts in local police…and decides to take revenge on the damage to the Scorpio by killing the boy’s woman….he kills her in the dead of night…does not know it his sister….. boy is out chopping wood (at night)..hears her scream and comes running…sees her dead body…goes into major depression post funeral…grows a beard…drinks a lot… sings songs on his guitar while he is traveling the North East…he finally says enough is enough…..he comes back to Bangalore to find goonda….(who has not realized his sister isn’t home for the past few months)…and confronts him…. Boy and goonda get into a fight (quite similar to the one between Agent Smith and Neo)…boy emerges victorious….shows Goonda the photo of the girl he killed…Goonda is overcome with grief that he suffers a heart attack and dies ( all that while he is profusely bleeding to death)…..boy is roaming the streets of Bangalore when he sees another girl who looks exactly like his former paramour…he falls in love with her…. They get married… (needless to say…another song and dance sequence) … the dead girlfriend’s friends do not like the idea of this guy going around with this new girl….and they tell this girl about his relationship with the old girl….but it is too late….the new girl is bearing the child of this dude….yet…she files for divorce…. Looking at this the hero goes into another session of heavy drinking and more guitar playing…. One day, a friend of the second girl who looks like the first girl, sees him playing his guitar in a bar…she tells him that he has a son….he is so happy….he cleans up his act….runs towards house where ex-wife and son are there….but is met by thugs of goonda whom he killed previously…they kill him outside the gates of the second ex-wife…..quick flashback in black and white (while violins play in the back ground )…..END OF STORY
Imagine this, I gave you only the essential plot points….with details like ‘red umbrella’ and ‘white scorpio’…not to mention the places they all visited in the dream song sequence…. I had to actually bear witness to the gory details. Kids today I tell you!!! These are middle school kids!!! Whatte imagination…. I am still blown away by the sheer rubbish that these kids have been watching. I am seriously thinking of recommending some fine cinema like Lawrence of Arabia, My Fair Lady, The Sound of Music and Star Wars….but without all the depression and incessant drinking by the protagonist…I don’t believe they would appreciate it too much. Oh well, let it be. This was followed by a round of Geography Hangman and a session of art. Those were not as eventful as the previous story telling, although some kids wanted to take my drawing and call it their own. I was never going to allow that. It was my drawing…it will bear my name.
I was left with the kids from class 5. And if they were anything like me in class 5, well, I was in for a fairly sanguine affair. Plan A was already scrapped and put in the dustbin. Plan B….made the kiddies play the creative story telling game. I provide the start to a story and at random, they keep adding bits and pieces. The story began with - a boy walking down a dark lonely road..all of a sudden it starts raining….he’s walking past a graveyard and hears dogs howling….. the kids had to continue from here. The story that turned out made me realize that children these days are watching too much filth in cinema and television these days. We ended up with a story line to put the best script writers in the local film industry to shame. I can see it now… audiences sobbing at the tragedy, going ‘awwwwww’ at the romance, cheering at the fight scenes…and me barfing in the aisles! This was how the story turned out (putting essential parts of the plot, don’t focus on the spelling and grammar):
A boy walking down a dark lonely road…all of a sudden it starts raining….he’s walking past a graveyard and hears dogs howling…then a girl comes walking with a red umbrella…the boy asks her to drop him home…she drops him home…just as she is leaving…the boy falls in love with the girl…she also falls in love with him….she is so much in love she leaves the umbrella at his house….she goes home walking in the rain..(song and dance sequence…girl suddenly in the Alps wearing a chiffon saree)…next day boy is coming on the motorcycle…he has bunked college to play cricket…girl is leaving her medical college…they happen to meet at the zebra crossing…girl does not notice guy….guy then falls in love ( song and dance sequence….boy playing electric guitar on top of train with semi clad firangs dancing in the background) ….traffic is held up because boy is day dreaming…. Next day…boy meets girl on local bus….boy happened to be carrying umbrella…he gives it to the girl who is acting all coy now….boy says he has fallen in love with girl…girl says she too has fallen in love with boy… (another song and dance sequence….this time in Rajasthan). They court (audience goes awwwwwwwww)…turns out girls elder brother is a local goonda who dotes his sister…. He murders a lot of people… hero’s bike hits goonda’s white Scorpio….goonda gets angry…after a riveting action sequence…boy manages to flee scene as he realizes there is a threat against his life…he tells girl he wants to marry her….they elope….go to Ooty….build a log cabin…goonda finds boy through his contacts in local police…and decides to take revenge on the damage to the Scorpio by killing the boy’s woman….he kills her in the dead of night…does not know it his sister….. boy is out chopping wood (at night)..hears her scream and comes running…sees her dead body…goes into major depression post funeral…grows a beard…drinks a lot… sings songs on his guitar while he is traveling the North East…he finally says enough is enough…..he comes back to Bangalore to find goonda….(who has not realized his sister isn’t home for the past few months)…and confronts him…. Boy and goonda get into a fight (quite similar to the one between Agent Smith and Neo)…boy emerges victorious….shows Goonda the photo of the girl he killed…Goonda is overcome with grief that he suffers a heart attack and dies ( all that while he is profusely bleeding to death)…..boy is roaming the streets of Bangalore when he sees another girl who looks exactly like his former paramour…he falls in love with her…. They get married… (needless to say…another song and dance sequence) … the dead girlfriend’s friends do not like the idea of this guy going around with this new girl….and they tell this girl about his relationship with the old girl….but it is too late….the new girl is bearing the child of this dude….yet…she files for divorce…. Looking at this the hero goes into another session of heavy drinking and more guitar playing…. One day, a friend of the second girl who looks like the first girl, sees him playing his guitar in a bar…she tells him that he has a son….he is so happy….he cleans up his act….runs towards house where ex-wife and son are there….but is met by thugs of goonda whom he killed previously…they kill him outside the gates of the second ex-wife…..quick flashback in black and white (while violins play in the back ground )…..END OF STORY
Imagine this, I gave you only the essential plot points….with details like ‘red umbrella’ and ‘white scorpio’…not to mention the places they all visited in the dream song sequence…. I had to actually bear witness to the gory details. Kids today I tell you!!! These are middle school kids!!! Whatte imagination…. I am still blown away by the sheer rubbish that these kids have been watching. I am seriously thinking of recommending some fine cinema like Lawrence of Arabia, My Fair Lady, The Sound of Music and Star Wars….but without all the depression and incessant drinking by the protagonist…I don’t believe they would appreciate it too much. Oh well, let it be. This was followed by a round of Geography Hangman and a session of art. Those were not as eventful as the previous story telling, although some kids wanted to take my drawing and call it their own. I was never going to allow that. It was my drawing…it will bear my name.
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