Living with an 8 year old

Mum’s been away for a few days on vacation now leaving the apartment to slowly rot into a bachelor pad with Dad and I. Dad too has been on leave from work and OMG…..he’s a terrible room-mate. In fact, I have assumed role of mother now in ensuring that he eats on time, the house is clean, clothes are put away and all the other stuff. And dad is not making it any easier. The man is behaving like a total 8 year old. ( If you’re reading this dad, you know it….and you can’t ground me…I’m a big boy now!)

What do 8 year olds do? They are stubborn when it comes to eating, they are incapable of feeding themselves and need someone to ensure they eat on time, they eat only junk food, they throw tantrums and they leave a mess everywhere and think it is perfectly fine for mum to pick up after them. Dad is being no different. He’s being impossible when it comes to food and the house….OMG the house. My dear mother will die of a heart attack if I don’t take care of this place. Clothes are strewn all over, the bed is not made, the newspaper is scattered all over the dining table, the used dishes are piled up in the sink, clothes are worn directly from the clothes line without ironing and here is the best part….clothes are reused for more than two days. I can imagine the life my father led before my dear mother came into his life.

I agree that I am a clean freak and enjoy cleaning up. I like the sight of a tidy room, shiny floor and sparkling vessels….so sue me. And to the future Mrs.Murthy (who ever you may be)I make the following promises:

1. You will always have an almost clean home to come to.

2. There will always be food of almost all kinds available.

3. There will always be music, a killer music system and a flat screen TV to see all the saas bahu TV serials if you are into it. Or if you want to snuggle up to a Manchester United game that’s cool too.

4. There will always be good alcohol in the house , in case you want to get drunk and whine to your girlfriends as to how your husband is so neat and tidy.

Isn’t the future Mrs.Murthy going to be really lucky? She’s getting a guy who cleans up after himself and everyone else. No better deal in the market, I can guarantee all of the above.

99% of our bachelor male population who for some god forsaken reason think it is their birth-right to be slobs. And I realized that my dad is no different from most of my college guys in terms of housekeeping skills. Agreed that I’m a little over-critical on matters of cleanliness, but come on, how can any human being possibly live so shabbily? If Dad and I were ever room-mates back in the day, I would have probably killed him by now and hid the body somewhere. I remember entering the house of some of my colleagues from work and I was shocked. Their house made a pig sty look like the Hyatt Hotel. There was underwear strewn over the floor and one plastic chair was the only furniture they had. And I thought to myself ‘Humph! Slobs’. Turns out my own flesh and blood is a slob too. I am going nuts living with dad. I finish work, I come home and I have to clean the house before I have dinner; after which I catch up on work. And all dad does is sit at home and refuse to help with the house saying he’s got some priority work which more or less involves sending me some really sad forwards, playing bridge and sending me ‘friend requests’ on Facebook. (Ah the semi-retired life)

All the greatness aside, the man is after all just a man and I guess among all the greatness, this is the one flaw my mother has accepted and has put up with for these many years, so I guess as the only completely responsible male in the house (dad is coughing so hard that he chocked) I must accept this too. Sigh!

Why? Why? Why can’t he just clean up after himself……Mummy…come back puhlease !!!! I need a vacation now !